A Note to Celebrities and God

At a lot of award shows athletes, actors and celebrities in general tend to thank God. I’ll be honest, I think that’s really insulting, especially to the mere mortals (trainers, coaches etc) who did the real work. And I realize that some of you will argue that when so-and-so thanks God, they are trying to be humble, and show humility. They are submitting to a higher power, thus implying how good fortune has played a role in their success.

Well then I say thank good fortune instead, thank positive entropy, or luck, but please don’t thank God. These people are giving God a terrible reputation. Now I’m not saying I know the will of God, but I am pretty sure he couldn’t give a shit about who wins “best supporting Actor with a mustache” or whatever the category is. I would like to think that if there is a God, he’s got an eye on the more serious issues. And that maybe he’s looking out for the little guy.

There are millions of children in the world starving, and innocent people dieing. All I’m saying is that if God did help so-and-so win their shiny medal, then maybe he doesn’t have his priorities in the right order. Now God, I realize the Oscars are important, but there is some pretty fucked up shit going on in the world, try dealing with that first. Better yet, it would be nice if you could tell your celebrity friends to give credit where credit is due.

- Sincerely a dissatisfied customer