Rejected AXE Slogans

If you haven’t heard of AXE(or Lynx) it’s probably because that rock you live under doesn’t get the greatest TV reception. AXE is a company that started out making mens body sprays, but has now spread out to soaps, shampoos, and even underwear. The company is well known for using sexually suggestive advertisements that successfully appeal to men. Yes, it is that easy to advertise to men. And Yes I use AXE.

Here’s an interesting lie, I used to work for the AXE company until I was fired. Apparently my slogans were either inappropriate or unmarketable. And here they are.

AXE! If you use our hygiene products numerous attractive women will want to touch your penis.

AXE! If you don’t use AXE were not saying your gay…but you probably enjoy having sex with other men.

AXE! For that cheap teenage smell of desperation. -Andy Parsons

AXE! New AXE attracts Grannies! Because when the denchers come off, things get wild.

AXE! If our product worked as well as it did in the commercials… we would probably be waist deep in sexual abuse lawsuits.

AXE! We don’t test our products on animals, because if we did, we would probably have to have sex with them.

AXE! If your the kinda guy that thought red bull would give you wings, get ready for an even bigger disappointment.

AXE! Because blind chicks have to rely on smell.

AXE! Don’t worry dude, if it doesn’t work, it’s probably because she was a lesbian.

Follow @iambillal on twitter if you want to have sex with beautiful women.