How To Creep A Guy Out
The following are suggestions on how to look creepy and weird in front of a guy. I acknowledge that if you’re a person who regularly reads this blog you probably don’t need any tips. If you are a guy and would like to know how to creep out a girl, please click on this link —-> http://wp.me/pWLYG-ek
1. Say the following, “I’m kinda into mature guys, and I have what some might call a “DILF” fetish. Is there any chance you could show me a picture of your Dad”
2. I only had the operation yesterday, so I’m still getting used to this whole peeing while sitting down thing.
3. Open your purse, and pull out a live cat. Point the cat at the guy and say, “I bring Doctor Fluffington everywhere with me, because he’s Mommy’s favorite, oh yes he is, OH YES HE IS!” Now point the cat at yourself, and talk to it saying the following, “This is your new Daddy sweetums! And I think he wants to pet you….OH YES HE DOES. At this point if the guy hasn’t run away already, yell “PET THE CAT NOW! DO NOT MAKE ME HAVE MY THIRD BREAK DOWN TODAY! I WILL CUT YOU LIKE A BOX! YOU HEAR ME ESE!”
4. As soon as the 2 of you sit down you have to whisper, “10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…”" And then you yell, “HAPPY TEN SECOND ANNIVERSARY”
5. I own a strap-on
6. Show up wearing a false mustache, and do not at all acknowledge its presence; pretend like it’s not even there. When the guy finally says something about it, say, “You think this is messed up…you should see my back” or yell, “FEMINISM BITCH! And throw a drink in his face”
7. After the date, ask the guy for a lock of his hair for your “collection”
8. In the worst possible detail, discuss your time of the month while the two of you are eating.
9. Act really butch. Challenge him to an arm wrestling contest. If you lose say, “You Fucking cheated BRO! I’ll shank you son!” and if you win say, “BRO, your a fucking pussy! Real talks, I’ll shank you son!”
10. Show up covered in fake blood, feathers, and holding a hammer. When he looks at you say, “I hate god damn pigeons” Then say, “Oh, please don’t get the wrong idea, this is puppy blood…the god damn pigeon got away…and I needed to take the edge off”
11. Want to have a three some? My other friend is really hot. His name is Dave.
If you do try any of the above, I would love to hear how it went down. I would also like to take this opportunity to say that I am not responsible for any harm caused, however hilarious it may be.
I totally did every single one of these.
To the same guy. Every day.
I’m in prison now, but it was totally worth it.
This is what I imagine all my readers are like. Thanks for commenting Caitlyn.