lol vs lulz

Many people have made the now banal point that the use of an “lol” can take the sting out of any online punch; I completely agree. Certainly it helps to defuse any kind of random, aggressive, tension, that a writer, for example, may have toward his audience of slack-jawed, knuckle dragging, ape-people lol.

“Lol” is an essential part of online communication. It’s the equivalent of smiling and nodding your head in a real life conversation. Yes, it stands for “laugh out loud,” but clearly it now carries a different meaning. Words evolve, lose old meanings, and take on new ones all the time. For example, when I call someone a dork or scum bag, I’m not at all implying that this person is a penis or a used condom.

Also, remember, “lol” is not to be confused with “LOL”, just as LOL is not to be confused with “lmao”, although lmao can be substituted with “rofl.” If at this point you’re confused, it maybe that YOU’RE TOO OLD! STICK TO THE RADIO GRAMPS! Or you know, maybe you don’t chat online very often which is of course fine.

As we’ve established I’m fine with “lol.” What I absolutely cannot stand is “lulz” as a substitution for “lol” by anyone over the age of 10.  Now to me, and presumably me alone, “lulz” represents all things wrong with modern society. It is the Everest online repulsiveness. It is in terms of metaphorical confectioneries, the filthy cherry on a literal shit cake. Whenever someone types “lulz” what I actually read is, “I am an attention whore. However, rather than placing my energies into something even vaguely creative, I have chosen to change the spelling of a 3 letter word. This will hopefully make up for the personality that I secretly know I lack.” The only way to deal with these people is eugenics and mass sterilization! Hey, we’re all thinking it, right? RIGHT! lol?

I’m not crazy. Not legally anyway.